Just like all of you, my life has changed significantly in the last 4 months. Gone are the days of high-fiving strangers at music festivals, wandering through amusement parks, shopping centers, and flea markets (okay- I made that part up- do they still exist?) completely unconcerned with how many times things had been sanitized and cleaned. Gone are the days of encouraging my children to share their bikes with new friends at parks, hopping in the car for a last minute trip to a family friendly restaurant to avoid cooking and cleaning at the end of the day. There are so many things I’m missing terribly, and so many things to complain about (and trust me, I do.)

My children and I went into self quarantine on March 25th. Our neighbor was diagnosed with Covid, and our kids had recently played together. They rode each others bicycles and scooters, and of our 5 kids, it’s likely that at least 3 of them had a loose tooth at the time, which means fingers constantly and shamelessly in the mouth. No soap, no sanitizer. So, we shut our doors. I remember dreading the 2 week window of being glued together, but as every parent does, we do what’s best for our families. And then, those 2 weeks turned into 11 weeks. Until June 9th, I was away from my daughters for about 3 hours total, while I was visiting students in their driveways.

If you had asked me one year ago how I would like to be grounded with my kids for 11 straight weeks, you’d have seen some pretty big eyes. I know that I need a healthy break from them, as much as they need a minute away from me. While we certainly love each other, there are times we drive each other a little crazy. They are needy. I am needy. I won’t pretend that I loved every minute of it, especially while I was juggling distance-teaching, and parenting my kindergartener and first grader, encouraging them to stay focused, hoping they were completing their work, and helping them understand new concepts. Ugh. Gosh, we missed other people! We often changed from one pair of pajamas to the next, skipped a few showers, I pretty much gave up on make-up, and our overall ambition was lower than normal. I didn’t hate it, and I tried to make some fun activities that we wouldn’t normally get to do. We watched mass at home, we created our own crazy Easter fun (including an abstract cake they decided on together) and they organized, created new games, new weird activities, and then eventually we started going out in public. We went hiking, biking, picnicking, and enjoyed the beautiful outdoors that summer allows. We still haven’t celebrated Layla’s birthday (March 18th), and there are plenty of other things that we feel sad about missing.

Here’s the thing. If you asked me a year ago what I wish I had more of, I would have said time. Mostly time to give to my girls. Maizy and Layla lost their dad when they were 3 and 5. They already got half of their parenting team taken away from them. And they are going to be angry about that forever, obviously. You guys- I got 11 straight weeks with those little miracles, those sweet babes that I begged God to give me for YEARS before becoming their mama. So, although I am annoyed that I don’t get to do some of our regular fun stuff with them, I am forever grateful for the 11 goofy weeks we had to ourselves. We still have a lot more time together than planned, but I have managed to escape a few times. Those days, I find myself plugging away at my to-do list, sitting in a coffee shop (like right now), going to the gym, and doing some solo grocery shopping, which is heavenly. For real, I love the time I have away, and I love that they have some time without me.

I know the future looks pretty foggy. We have no idea what the school year, athletics, public places, travel, etc. will hold. We will have plenty to complain about. We will be frustrated with whatever politicians decide for us, for our children, and for our freedoms, with people who have crazy opinions, and random things that annoy us for no particular reason. I need to put this in writing so that I remember: Enjoy this moment. The one right now. We have all learned in one way or another that tomorrow won’t come for everyone. This moment is the one to savor, and I hope that I can remember that when things get too foggy.